Sunday, June 27, 2010

Domo - Turd with teeth preps to take over (Domo-nate) the world.

What is this strange chocolate? What is this mysterious creature that the Japanese claim was hatched from an egg? Domo ( Dōmo-kun?) is the official mascot of Japan's NHK television station.

Fans say (assuming it is a he) "his monster like features conceal a gentle soul with a body of pure fluff." I say apon closer inspection, this turd like creature features teeth sharp enough to render the manliest of men in child birthing pain, and a gaze that would make Chuck Norris nervous.

Much like 30% of Americas population, Domo's like Japanese-style meat and potato stew, have a strong dislike for apples, can only communicate by producing a low-pitched noise and are known to pass gas repeatedly when nervous or upset.

The Domo has taken much of the world by surprise and is the next biggest thing to come out of the east since Hello Shitty....err Kitty. Young teens have taken wildly to the Domo-revolution and it seems like this is just the beginning considering US networks have recently committed to 26 short episodes on various channels.

Originally I had decided to head out in downtown Toronto and look for any Domo fans to get some feedback. A coworker reminded me, however, with the current state of the G20 summit and crazed protestors...that maybe an arsenal of religion-free holy water may not be enough to protect me.. so I decided against it.

This will have to be revisited at a later date. I will however leave you with some Googled forum posts from fan boards. Skeptical? Google the Domo and read for yourself?

"Domo-Kun (Domo Sapiens) is a Grue and is the ruler of his home country, Japan, ..... He kills kittens every time you masturbate,.....that Domo-Kun is another evil plan of disney's.... Domo will destroy China."

"DOMO KUN ROCKS. I agree, some day he will take over the world. ALL BOW TO DOMO KUN!!!!!!!!"

"It's not THE's just DOMO! There is no 'THE' you stupid inbred fock! Have some god damn respect when even thinking about Domo. Pieces of shit like you are what ruin our god damn world. Domo is god, so refer to him as so. I don't call you 'THE' Steven.. I just call you the stupid god damn inbred fock Steven.."

"You just don't understand.....If I had one wish before I died it would be to make love to Domo.....he is the essence of jesus.',190632,page=4

Hail Domo!