I called in and was hoping for a painless telephone transaction. I was hoping to simply tell you that my remote control is no longer working, and yes I did replace the batteries. In return I expected you to ship me out a new remote...and I ship you my old one. Simple, right? Absolutely WRONG!! What I get in return is transferred over from level 1 tech support...to 2nd level tech support. Seriously?? Level 2 Tech support...for a remote control?! WTF....are you kidding me Bell?? Is that what you are doing with the $140 that you milk out of me every month? When I call tech support, it is only when absolutely necessary as I loathe dealing with (what in my opinion I consider the worst tech support available from any company today) your support personnel. I don't need someone across the globe asking me how the weather is. I want you to fix my problem as quickly and as painlessly as possible considering I am paying out the ass for your lack luster services.
So you want to trouble shoot my remote. Fine!! What would you like me to do?
Bell: "Sir, can you try and replace the batteries"
Me: "I have already done that"
Bell: "Ok Sir, thank you for that. Just give me one moment. "
Me: "Can you guys send me a new one? It was working fine this morning and just stopped"
Bell: "Yes sir, I understand that sir but I need to follow the procedure I have to help you resolve the issue promptly. "
Me: "I point and click...it doesn't work."
Bell: "Yes sir, thank you sir. Let us try and reprogram the remote. Can you please press and hold the TV button until all the lights flash red on the remote?"
Me: "Uh... there are no red lights. It just doesn't work."
Bell: "Ok sir, thank you very much for your time sir. Could you try and replace the batteries sir?"
Me: "I already did replace them before I called you. "
Bell: "Ok thank you sir. Just hold with me one moment sir. Ok Sir thank you for your patience. Can we try and reset the remote, can you please hold the pound and off button at the same time until the red lights flash?"
Me: "I already mentioned… there are no lights... the remote is just dead"
Bell: "Thank you for that sir. Unfortunately before I can send you a replacement remote I have to transfer you to my higher level sir and I am sure they can help you. Is there anything else I can help you with before I transfer you?"
Me: "You have to transfer me to someone else? You can't just issue a new remote to my address?"
Bell: "Thank you for that Sir. I will transfer you and they will assist you. Thank you for choosing Bell."
Me: "Uh what?"
After 10 more minutes of annoying hold music
Bell: "Hello Sir, thank you for choosing Bell. Can I have your telephone number starting with your area code"
Me: "But I gave all that info to the tech I was speaking with earlier. Why do you need it again?"
Bell: " Thank you for that sir, but I need it to verify you are on the account sir."
Me: "Can you stop saying that?' (I give the info required)
Bell: "Thank you for that sir, can you try and replace the battery sir.."
Round and round we go and still no new remote. In the end I get a refurbished one that I can't even program to my TV. Now I am stuck with a remote for the satellite receiver and a separate remote for the TV. While I am ranting about how terrible Bell is, I should mention another fact. How is it that I am on a 2 year term with you yet my monthly bill is different EVERY MONTH!? Explain that to me Bell. I'm tired of calling in every month to plead & argue with your billing department and have them remove the fees and adjust the prices to what I originally signed up for. And what's worse, when I called to cancel all my services you threw an insanely huge early termination fee! Bell, you may have me by the balls now but we will see who has who when my term is up. For now, I won't go down quietly.