Tuesday, September 15, 2009

A little about me

Over the past week I have received an obnoxious amount of email from my rather large fan base asking to know more about me and how they can achieve the level of greatness that I have achieved in my field. Well it is no easy task. It takes many days of hard work coupled with intense training to attain a skill level even remotely close to my expertise. I have compiled a brief list of some of the most common questions and have answered them for all of your inquisitive minds. Read on.

Q: What do you actually blog about? Karen, Scarborough
Isn’t it obvious, I blog about anything strange that happens in Ajax. Recently though I have found myself blogging about strange things in other municipalities. So I guess it doesn’t have to be region-specific. Rule of thumb, if it is strange, weird, paranormal or related then it shall be blogged.

Q: The haunted forest and the witch house and are examples of you putting your life in danger. Why do it? Anisha, Ajax
To bring you, the readers, the facts! The 2nd best weapon against the dark forces that may exist is knowledge. To know is to be aware. To be aware is to know when to run.

Q: My son went to school today and was asked to write an essay about what he wants to be when he grows up. He wrote he wants to be like “The Operator”. Any tips for an aspiring young mind? Victor, New Zealand
Charles Caleb Colton (1780-1832) once wrote "Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery". The Operator writes, “Imitate me… and I will slap you with a lawsuit so hard and fast your mamma will feel it…even when she is on vacation… in a different continent... .in a different time zone!”

Q: In order to prepare yourself to fight the evil, what is your training regiment? Kuznetsov, Mother Russia
I like to think of myself as a well maintained vehicle. Therefore I undergo regular tune ups and oil changes. But seriously, I am more like a ninja and follow a version of the Chuck Norris training regime. I can’t give away all my secrets but breaking it down, my training regiment includes;
  • several hours a day clicking my mouse rigorously in order to keep my computer skills swift and deadly.
  • 2 hour strenuous physical workouts per day (3 times per week).
  • I dedicate 1 hour per night watching video and footage about the next subject of my blog. You need to be prepared.
  • And before bed every night I reread all the lore on the entire internet about every evil that exists. That’s right, the entire internet!

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